Frustrations

I've hit the six week or 7-mile slump. I realize the frustrations I'm facing now are a part of the journey. In a transition as drastic as the one I've made, disappointment and struggle should be expected. Many things have flowed so easily in this experience, from getting a visa to finding a place to live, that I forgot to be on guard for moments of "Oh crap, what exactly did I get myself into." It doesn't mean this was a mistake. I am still mid-jump like the picture my dad took, unsure of how the landing will be.

I called it the 7-mile slump because it feels like when I was running the marathon. At mile 7, the initial hype and excitement were gone as were the supporters. It was just me, the pavement, and a long field. I felt the same way when I first moved to NYC. Around week 6, the thrill is diminishing, but the social network hasn't been fully developed yet. I get out as often as I can for meet-ups, ballroom dancing, and just to take in the sites. But meaningful relationships, take time. And time is the one thing I don't know if I'll have.

Right now the job market is difficult for an immigrant. Many jobs are open only to permanent residents. Catch-22, I can't become a permanent resident until I've lived here for a few years. While my job provides enough to live here and even have a little fun, it isn't something that can lead to a longer position when my visa expires. The thought of having to potentially move somewhere else and rebuild a network... again... sucks, plain and simple.

Is it worth the risk of making real friends given the uncertainty about the future? When I.S. and I started dating, the plan was already in place to move to Australia. Was it worth dating knowing I would be leaving in a few months? The answer is absolutely. Without that risk, I would have missed out on an amazing relationship with an equally amazing guy and not had all the fun, support, and laughter the relationship brought. So even if I leave in a year, being willing to invest in friendships is always the better option.

So that is where I am. Aside from the ambiguity I'm having a blast. I have fun people, beautiful weather, and kangaroos, what's not to love. This whole experience is about creating the life I want. That takes a bit of work, a few tears, and a little flexibility. Here's to landing on the other side of the crevice I jumped. And if not, at least having some pretty flowers and a story to share wherever I do land.

Settled

Settled… or not. One of the biggest things I knew before starting this adventure was to have plans but allow them to be fluid and change as necessary. If I had had time to write last Friday I would have said that I was completely established in Sydney. Perhaps this was too big a feat to achieve in about two weeks. Within the past week a couple of things have shifted. But I’m not stressed about it. In fact, this whole process has still been surprisingly easy. In many ways I feel like I’ve been in Sydney for much longer than three weeks. I am working, meeting new people, living in a nice apartment, and can navigate the basic transportation system. I don’t know what the future holds, if I’m staying here or moving again in a year. But I can deal with that another time. For now, this is completely where I need to be and I am so happy that I took this chance. There have been a few moments of home sickness, especially when I was away from Sydney, disconnected from even the smallest contact with friends and family back in the States that I miss. There have been moments of utter contentment, especially when the weekends are nice. What I have not experienced in any way is regret.

Some of the things I’ve been doing:

Climbed the Pylon lookout of the Harbor Bridge. The real climb over the bridge is $200 so I’m going to skip that one. Once you’ve jumped from a plane, being tied to a bridge just doesn’t have the same thrill. There have been over 200 proposals at the top of the bridge. Apparently, it is only 60% effective as a proposal spot. The problem: if she says no you still have to walk down the other side tied to each other. The lookout, however, has some beautiful views.

Saw the Sydney Opera house and the Royal Botanical Gardens. Tried to see the view from Sydney Tower and was told by the desk lady that she just couldn’t let my group in because we were not dressed nice enough.

Saw the aquarium and wildlife park. Platypuses (Platypi?) are smaller than I expected, koalas are super cute, and I got as close as I need to a crocodile and a shark, until I go shark diving of course.

Went to the capital of Australia, Canberra. It is a terribly boring city that will be celebrating its 100^th anniversary in two years. On the way I saw a city advertising a population of 150 people, one fifth the size of my high school graduation class. The 10 year anniversary is coming up this year. When did I become an adult?

Saw my first real life kangaroos in the wild. Actually ran outside my hotel in the cold morning air and wanted to chase after them, and when that couldn’t happen, found myself imitating their hops. Maybe I’m not such an adult.

Went to see an aboriginal tree carving exhibit at the state (NSW) library.

Found an apartment, had an apartment party with my new friends plus a bunch of people I met when they showed up at my door with the previously mentioned new friends. Then moved into a nicer apartment.

Joined an ultimate freebie team.

Chased a person dressed up in a duck costume around the city with forks and plastic bags for no apparent reason but to have a blast with a bunch of other crazy people.

Arrival

Finishing up my first day in Australia. In about half an hour a group from my hostel will be making its nightly social organized outing. Tonight incidentally, is to a place called Soho.

Travel was uneventful, a ease unknown to me. Asiana Airlines is sufficient. Meals were pretty poor but service was good. It is pronounced Ásian-a vs a-si-á-na which I still think sounds cooler. I got a shuttle to my hostel right away.

I haven’t experienced a grand moment where I realize I’m an immigrant trying to move to another country with a very fluid if not sparse plan. But this is how I’ve always been. It never ‘hits’ me in a definable moment. I can be present in terms of location very easily. My mind adjusts quickly to wherever I am. There isn’t a huge anxiety ridden excitement but more of a calm acceptance and peace with a bit of excitement. I’m where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. This is home now. Or it will be very soon.

I spent the day lounging at my hostel, talking with fellow travelers, briefly checking of email, playing billiards, taking a quick nap that I wish could have been longer. My hostel is great. Jackaroo is ranked #3 on Hostel World and I can see why. The owners are very present making improvements and talking to guests. Each night there are planned social events and they provide free internet.

I also wandered around the town. I’m in Sydney but it is divided into distinct neighborhoods or suburbs. Right now I am in Kings Cross, truly a crossroads of the up and coming neighborhood and the desire to stay seedy. Walk a few blocks in one direction and hit a row of cheap cell phone stores and strip clubs. Walk the other way and find charming bistros and parks. I’m pleased to note that my sense of direction does seem to be better here even without a grid. It was 180 degrees wrong at all times in the US. My hope is that since bodies are 78% water (or something to that effect) and the water flows that other way here (a fact I have yet to verify) that my body was just attuned to the wrong hemisphere before.

A few other things I’ve noticed:

Nobody crosses the street before the walk sign is on. In NYC if you were not already half way across at that point you are late. I’ve already found myself alone in the middle of the road a few times. The road in which I might get run over because I have not gotten used to looking the right way.

Moving in winter was not a problem. It is sunny and spring like.

I will be eating a lot of noodles or the equivalent because food is expensive.

Rent is cheaper but you also have less bedroom space than NYC. It does seem there are more common areas in the same apartments.

It has a noticeably different vibe than NYC (sarcastic “surprise” to that observation). I also don’t think it is quite like Boston or DC either. Granted, these observations are made after a day lost in the travel time vortex and while staying in a predominantly backpacker area of town.

For the next few days my plan is to get an apartment, tax number, and wander around aimlessly taking in all the new sights.

Realizations

I’m in preparation mood for Australia. With only 10 days to go I’m busy packing, dinners, parties, looking for apartments, and selling off even more stuff. Even thought I haven’t taken off yet, the journey of an immigrant has been an interesting one. No matter what happens once I land, this process has been amazing and well worth it. I’ve realized a bunch of things:

I’ve realized how small the world has become: So many people I know have already been to Australia or know somebody who lives there giving me a host of people to contact once I land.

I’ve realized it is so important to have people to support you: I have people who love me and will let me cry, vent, or babble on in excitement no matter what the emotion of the minute may be. I know there are people in my life who support me.

I’ve realized moments of connection can happen when you are open to them: After deciding to move to Australia I meant a few people in unexpected places. A friend of a friend I met after a kickball game gave me the suggestion of the Visa that enabled me to leave. While visiting my boyfriend in DC I met a girl who just moved from Sydney to NYC.

I’ve realized how things can come back around: I got my Masters in Social Welfare almost four years ago. It was a difficult time in my life but I think its important to finish what you start. Turns out a MSW gets a 60 out of 60 points in the Aussie scale for education needed to get a Visa.

I’ve realized how attached I am to material possessions: I’m attempting to whittle my stuff down to two suitcases, plus the box at my parent’s house. I can and will live with less clutter.

I’ve realized our lives are constantly in transition: Whether that is moving, looking for or starting a new job, buying a house, getting in or out of a romantic relationship, having a baby, making new friends, everyone has change in life.

I've realized craigslist people can be crazy: The person buying my tv asking if I had closets, the old man who wants to tell me that everything I owe is crap do I want to sell it for $5, the lady whose cat, dog, bug, boyfriend, boss, and herself all had to go to the er instead of saying she no longer wanted the rug...

I’ve realized there can be joy even in uncertainty: I don’t know what is going to happen. But I do know that it will be amazing. If you face fears and challenges, what you get out of it is its own reward and sets the stage for great things to happen.

Australia

It is now official. I am moving to Australia June 21st, 2011.








First I’ll clear up the most common questions:

1) Are you going for work? No
2) Do you know anyone there? Not yet
3) Have you ever been? Nope
4) So why are you going? Why Not?


Awhile ago I came across a quote that has become my email sign off and the guiding principle in my life. “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw. Having fully embraced my adventurous side, I want to live in the place where that mentality seems to thrive. Not necessarily following the prescribed life course but joining those people who make their own path. Mine is about creating the life I want, which is one of calculated risk, of movement, of joy, of connections, and of adventure. Why not try something new? In this case the new thing is literally moving across the world with two suitcases and a little tenacity.

I’ve never been to Australia but I’ve wanted to for a long time. I’ve kept journals since I could write. The past few months I’ve reread each one and scanned them onto my computer. When I was 16 I had a journal with questions for each day. One nondescript day it asked “If you could live anywhere where would you live?” My answer was “I want to live in an international city, like NYC. Or Australia” Years later I forgot I wrote that, but the desire never left. Australia was a brief thought for graduate school that never materialized. Now, it’s actually happening.

At this point in my life I have the ability to get up and go. I don’t have a mortgage, a husband or kids, or anything else tying me to a specific location. I got a working holiday visa which I have to use before I’m 30.

I am aware that this can be a bad idea. I could hate it, I could not get a full time position, things could go wrong… BUT… things could go so right. I could love it, I could get the job that I really want, it could be the best decision of my life. There is potential for something amazing to happen which I’d never see if I play it safe. No matter what the result, I will approach everything else in my life knowing that I didn’t back down from a risk when I wanted something.

It will be challenging. But very few things in life are worth it without struggle. I’ve loved the time that I’ve been in NYC. It is exactly where I should have been for the past three and a half years. I am so grateful for the experiences and friends I’ve made here. I’m leaving, not a different person, but more fully myself. Ready for the next chapter. And with an open couch for visitors as soon as I get a couch.

Stuff

A particular situation in my life has caused me to take inventory of everything I own. And I mean every little thing, from makeup to candles, pictures to books, prom dresses to ‘I’m not even sure what this is?’ items on a shelf. My conclusion: I have a lot of stuff.

To avoid the mental illness of a hoarder in the future, it’s time for a major spring cleaning undertaking. Looking at each item as objectively as possible and deciding if I would want to take it if I moved. As I've grown up from my childhood room at my parents house, to a dorm room, to an apartment of my own, my stuff has expanded to fill the space much like water in a jar. I don't use most of these things on a regular basis and often can't remember the motivation for purchasing it in the first place.

There are a lot of articles about the impact on clutter on your waking and sleeping life. I’m not going as hard core as this guy who only lives with just 15 possessions. There isn’t a magic number for me, rather a feeling that I’ve moved down to the essentials. Interestingly, most of the things that I want to keep are the things from my travels or gifts from people that I care about. It is fun (fun might be too strong a word- I really hate spring cleaning) to look at what matters.

What items can you not live without?

Perspective

I love the spring. After all the grey of winter it’s great to get outside. The brown is starting to give way to hints of green, the temperature is warming up, and people are happier. I’m trying to spend most weekends outside.

Perspective is a funny thing. When it’s 60 degrees outside, it feels so warm coming from the cold winter and bringing hope of spring and sun. But in a few months, the same 60 degrees will feel cold and slightly depressing, as it means winter is approaching. No matter how much I tolerate winter because of skiing and snowboarding, it isn’t my favorite season.

The last time I was in DC, I got to do a high ropes course with Living Social Adventures. The weather was alright, the people I was strapped to trees with were fun, and I had a blast pretending to be a staff member of LSA. While in the trees, I was aware of how the same situation can be seen in different ways by people. The couple in front of me were scared, double and triple checking their carabineers. The two guys behind me were not terrified at all. The height and obstacles were the same for both groups but the experience was different. I spent the time giving encouragement to the couple in front of me and trying to mess up the guys behind. We also tried to see who could lean of the tree the farthest or climb a shaking ladder. Compared to skydiving, the height was nothing, and the time in the trees was strangely peaceful. The course had a lot of obstacles, five ziplines and two Tarzan swings. They were my favorite where you launch yourself out of a tree into a large net.

Differing perspective can also be seen in the attitudes of people living in the American North and South. It is a common thought that people from NYC are rude. Living here I don’t see it. New Yorkers are very helpful as long as you don’t ask too many questions and don’t block the left side of the escalator. But then there are things that can be seen as impolite. We don’t stay and talk about anything in line. It’s get in, purchase, get out, and move onto the next thing. And if we were to say “excuse me” every time we bumped into someone on the streets we would never be able to get anywhere.

A few weekends ago, I visited North Carolina to see my sister and her boyfriend. I immediately saw the difference. Everyone is willing to talk about anything in line or at the gas station, even to complete strangers. I never got used to it, instead skeptical that they could indeed be that happy to show me to my seat at a restaurant. Perhaps it is fake, or perhaps it’s genuine, but when arriving back in New York I was aware of how miserable we all seem by comparison.