Frustrations

I've hit the six week or 7-mile slump. I realize the frustrations I'm facing now are a part of the journey. In a transition as drastic as the one I've made, disappointment and struggle should be expected. Many things have flowed so easily in this experience, from getting a visa to finding a place to live, that I forgot to be on guard for moments of "Oh crap, what exactly did I get myself into." It doesn't mean this was a mistake. I am still mid-jump like the picture my dad took, unsure of how the landing will be.

I called it the 7-mile slump because it feels like when I was running the marathon. At mile 7, the initial hype and excitement were gone as were the supporters. It was just me, the pavement, and a long field. I felt the same way when I first moved to NYC. Around week 6, the thrill is diminishing, but the social network hasn't been fully developed yet. I get out as often as I can for meet-ups, ballroom dancing, and just to take in the sites. But meaningful relationships, take time. And time is the one thing I don't know if I'll have.

Right now the job market is difficult for an immigrant. Many jobs are open only to permanent residents. Catch-22, I can't become a permanent resident until I've lived here for a few years. While my job provides enough to live here and even have a little fun, it isn't something that can lead to a longer position when my visa expires. The thought of having to potentially move somewhere else and rebuild a network... again... sucks, plain and simple.

Is it worth the risk of making real friends given the uncertainty about the future? When I.S. and I started dating, the plan was already in place to move to Australia. Was it worth dating knowing I would be leaving in a few months? The answer is absolutely. Without that risk, I would have missed out on an amazing relationship with an equally amazing guy and not had all the fun, support, and laughter the relationship brought. So even if I leave in a year, being willing to invest in friendships is always the better option.

So that is where I am. Aside from the ambiguity I'm having a blast. I have fun people, beautiful weather, and kangaroos, what's not to love. This whole experience is about creating the life I want. That takes a bit of work, a few tears, and a little flexibility. Here's to landing on the other side of the crevice I jumped. And if not, at least having some pretty flowers and a story to share wherever I do land.