Tradition

Traditions keep us grounded, connecting us to happy memories and people we love. The holiday season is normally filled with customs. This year being across the the world means none of my normal traditions have happened. As I plan to stay in Australia for at least another couple of years, it will be interesting to see if some of the things I've done this year will become my new holiday traditions.

New Years: As a teenager I always went to my friend LC's house with another friend AC (now AVB). New Years was a special time where we could catch up, hang out in the hot tub even in the snow, eat raw brownie mix and frosting, and dance around to 'You Don't Own Me'. We did the same thing for nine years. Like all good traditions, it was a way to create the familiar no matter what else was happening in our lives. Boys changed, what we did earlier in the night changed, schools changed, our relationship with our family changed, we were teenagers after all, but New Years was our night. Eventually, we changed. AC got married and the three of us moved to different cities. I never found a New Years Eve tradition to replace those times with the girls. Every year since then has been something and somewhere different. This year I will be with my family is Hawaii, almost the last place in the world to hit midnight.

Easter: I always found Easter to be a more relaxed holiday, maybe because I never did the cooking. In the morning we would look for our Easter baskets, which I still do if I am visiting my family. We would dye eggs making way too many. We would attend church and then have a bunch of people over to eat at our house, including some international students whom my mom invited over to experience a typical American holiday. The younger children would search for Easter eggs hidden in the yard that were filled with candy and money. I do not know what I will do this year.

July 4th: As children, we would go to my grandparent's plot of land. All of the extended family would be there plus family friends and people I had never met before. When we were little we used to take rides in the back of the lawnmover and destroy multiple kickballs when they were kicked into the rose bushes. As we got older we participated in volleyball, crochet, bean bag toss, lawn golf, and horseshoes. I'm sure it will come as no surprise I come from a fairly competitive family. At night we would watch fireworks singing patriotic songs. This year I ran around Sydney chasing a person in a duck costume.

Halloween: I didn't celebrate Halloween as a child. I went trick or treating once as an adult as a pirate although nobody could tell under all the winter gear I had to wear in Buffalo. Anytime I need a quick costume I tend to be a pirate. When I lived in NYC I would go to my friends M+K's house for a murder mystery night. Last year I got killed off three times. This year I went to a Halloween party again as a pirate.

Thanksgiving: For a few years after my family moved to New York, we would travel back to Ohio to see the extended family. We would have a huge thanksgiving dinner and play a lot of games. The next morning my uncles would cook breakfast and we would celebrate Christmas, exchanging gifts while the whole family was in town. We stopped going back to Ohio as we grew older and schedules got more difficult to arrange. Instead we went to a Thanksgiving Eve service and then my group of friends would go out to eat or dancing. On Thanksgiving my mom would host a large group of family friends. The next morning mom and I would head out in the early hours of the morning to take advantage of Black Friday sales. While I lived in NYC, I got to host Thanksgiving and we went to see the Macy's day parade. This year I went out to dinner with friends who were gracious enough to humor me when I asked them to go around the table and say something they were thankful for. The next morning I skyped my family and was a floating head in a laptop at the table. On Black Friday, I went to the American expat pot luck under the Harbour Bridge.

Christmas: Growing up I never believed in Santa Claus, a fact I used as a bragging point in grade school. On Christmas Eve my brother and I would go last minute Christmas shopping and out to eat. While I usually had almost all of my gifts, I would purposely leave at least one more to get to have the chance to hang out just the two of us. There was a Christmas Eve candlelight service at church where after the carols were sung my family would cause trouble by trying to blow each others candles out in a 'King of the Mountain' type face off. We would watch a couple of Christmas movies and head to bed. In the early hours of Christmas morning, 4:30am one year, my sister and I would sneak downstairs and exchange our gifts to each other by the light of the tree. My brother would join us and we would empty our stockings and watch 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. We would wait until the required time of 7:30 before waking our parents in creative although usually obnoxious ways. Now that I am older I realize they were already awake but did their bit to keep the tradition by not coming out of their room until we 'woke' them. We would open presents and mom would cook us breakfast, getting too little appreciation for the full buffet she presented. Dad would go through all the wrapping paper to make sure any little pieces were not lost. We would play with our toys, even toys we got as adults. This year I will spend Christmas on the beach with other holiday orphans then fly over to Hawaii to see my family for the first time in six months. By crossing the international date line, I get 48 hours of Christmas on the beach with family and friends.

While the actual event has changed throughout the year, as have the participants, the true traditions, and the purpose behind them, is to connect with those whom you love and who love you.

I wish you a Christmas filled with wonderful traditions and the creation of new memories.

Full-on

October and November have been full on, a grateful change from August where I was just working as a waitress every night. The weather is leading into summer but still ranges from 18 to the perfect 26 to 34 degrees. Yes, I talk in Celsius now. And kg. Although I still mix up writing dates, looking the right way before crossing the street, and understanding km and cm conversions. Some of the best moments:

1) NaNoWriMo- I finished a 50K book. Granted, nobody will be allowed to read it... possibly ever. It is tragically bad but there are some glimmers of purpose and promise starting to show. I have a greater understanding of what it takes to write a book and a much higher respect for authors, even authors with crap books. It is tough!

2) TESOL- I have started taking an online TESOL certification course. I have no idea where it will lead. So far I have learned what it means to be a good teacher and that, like most Americans, I have no idea about proper English grammar.

3) Sculpture by the Sea- Over 100 sculptures were placed along the cliffs between Bondi and Coodiee beach. It made for a gorgeous backgroup to some beautiful pieces.

4) The Races- Went to see the horses race at Ranwick Race Course. Won once. I felt sophisticated and European in my fascinator and couldn't help thinking of My Fair Lady throughout the day.

5) One of my friends works at the Sydney Opera House and she has given me tickets to a couple of shows. One had an intense story line, one was a classical opera, and one was based on "Of Mice and Men" I learned that I prefer the more classical Italian operas.

6) Thanksgiving- The American Expat group hosted a pot luck Thanksgiving dinner, under the Harbour Bridge, in the rain. An interesting side note: Most Aussies I have talked to think Thanksgiving is a bigger holiday than Christmas in America. I can say that in my brief pole of fellow Americans no one has agreed with this. Interesting how cultural mentalities are misunderstood. However, when I watch tv (where most ideas of America are grounded) every sitcom has a Thanksgiving episode and far fewer have Christmas episodes so it is understandable.

This is the longest that I have been away from my family and I miss them terribly. I always went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and it has been a tradition for years to go shopping with my mom on Black Friday. My little sister is now engaged, my little brother is getting ready to graduate college. In exactly 19 days (maybe 18 since I cross the international date line) I will get to see my family. :D That smile isn't big enough.

7) Organized a hike to the "Grand Canyons" of Australia, the Blue Mountains with 44 people. I miss the Fall with the leaves changing color, the pumpkin carving, and the corn mazes, but at least there is still hiking here.

8) Went Paddleboarding. At first our legs were shaking but almost everyone got the hang of it by the end. There were surprisingly few oar fights.

9) Organized a scavenger hunt around Sydney. I got to wander around the city looking for places for the teams to find. I enjoyed creating the event and working out all the details. There were 39 contestants and even in the rain it seemed like the teams had fun. Plus as judges we got to make them do funny things wheelbarrow races in a very public place.

10) Moved Apartments. I was living with 9 other people in a 2 bedroom flat. We had nationalities from all over the globe. Even with my extroverted nature I am surprised I lasted as long as I did. That makes 4 jobs and 3 apartments in 5 months for those keeping track.

11) Met with some people about sponsored jobs. There isn't a lot more to say about that yet because I am still trying to figure out this part of the transition.

December is already filling up with Chrissy parties, optimistically more stability, and Hawaii with my family!

Novel

"Let's go on dreaming, though we know we are." ~'So Close' from Enchanted

November is National Novel Writing Month. NaNoWriMo is an online community of prospective authors who try to write a complete novel from scratch during the month of November. I will be joining them, along with my friend AM and my mom. I have a basic idea of some of the characters and some thoughts on the plot running around in my head. No official outline yet but I'll see what comes out.

I wrote stories all the time as a child. Some where dark like a murder mystery based on the 13 Dead End Drive board game. Others were light and happy as in the case of Tommy the Go-Cart. Then the desire got lost. Correction, I ignored it. In college I started comparing myself to friends who also loved to write. I saw and envied the way they captured normal moments with a descriptive flare. I didn't form complexly worded sentences or tap into the depth of the tortured artist. So I thought I couldn't be a writer; that is was just a childish dream.

But then I started this blog and realized that while I don't write in a style suitable for the classics such as Les Mis or Rebecca, I have a style all my own; a style which captures my optimistic nature, mimics the way my brain thinks complete with topic jumps, and an easy style that people can relate to. Though I guess since I am starting my TESOL certification (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) I should change that last phrase to "and an easy style to which people can relate." My blog has brought back my love of writing as a way of storytelling, and the old dream of being a writer.

As the goal is 50,000 words in a month this will be my only blog entry for November. Every word written here is one not written in my novel. Being an author is still a childish dream and I'm thankful it is. All the best dreams are made when we are children and don't understand limitations.

SCUBA

SCUBA is short for self-contained underwater breathing apparatus. I've wanted to get certified since my sister and I went snuba diving with the sea turtles in Hawaii years ago. Snuba is similar to scuba in that you are completely submerged but the air tank is on a raft on the surface instead of on your back.

I'm getting my PADI certification with True Blue Dives over three Thursdays at the local beaches in the eastern suburbs.

Dive #1: A snorkel dive just to get (re)acquainted with the concept of breathing while your face is in the water.

Biggest Challenge: Relaxing when breathing.

My brain goes into the annoying, although appropriate, habit of trying to not let me die. Breathing in while your face is underwater goes against that idea logically. I could hear each ragged breath. The first breath was a timid trial and the second actually brought air to my lungs.

Scariest Moment: Swimming next to jellyfish.

First they are difficult to see unless you are right next to them. Second they have translucent trailing pieces that can hurt you. My Australian friends love talking about all the things that can kill you in this country but in a calm relaxed manner. In fact, I bring up box jellies or snakes purposely just to see their faces light up with pride. I'm adding the jellyfish lake to my list of places I want to visit. Nothing like facing your fears to help move past them.

Most Enjoyable Moment: Realizing how much easier it is to swim with flippers.

Dive #2: Scuba Intro Unlike other scuba certification classes, True Blue Dive takes you right into the ocean, no pool time.

Lesson #1: How to assemble all the pieces of the equipment and how to carry 70 pounds on your back to the shore.

Lesson #2: Hand signals.

Lesson #3: How to clear our goggles and regulator while submerged.

Lesson #4: How to move up and down without relying on the BCD. The buoyancy control device is a fancy vest attached to the air tank that can fill or deflate.

Scariest Moment: The first breath after clearing the regulator while submerged.

After a bit, my brain almost ignored the "Don't breath underwater" rule. But after taking the regulator out of my mouth, letting it fill with water, putting it back in my mouth, and clearing it, my brain reinstated the rule. Each and every time.

Funniest Moment: Getting into the ocean

We had to get our flippers on while standing in ankle deep water (knee deep when the waves hit) while also balancing on rocks with 70 pounds on our backs and then make it past the submerged rocks that kept coming out of nowhere and into the open ocean. I got stuck on more than a few rocks. Ocean +6 Jen +1. I gave myself a point since I did technically make it to the ocean even though my execution was a bit awkward.

Most Enjoyable Moment: Petting a shark.

Some might think that this would be the scariest moment but he was only about three feet long and I stayed away from the teeth. Then we followed him to an overhang where there were four more larger sharks just hanging out. They eat shells not people so as long as our fingers didn't end up in their mouths it was okay. Sharks are coarse like sandpaper not slimy like fish. And I'll admit the fact that I'm more scared of jellyfish than sharks is a bit odd.

At this point I don't think Scuba will be an obsession but check back with me after dive #6. I want to get certified so I can go to the Great Barrier Reef with some friends. Plus, no matter where I am in the world, when the desire to scuba hits me on a whim, I can just go.

Walkabout

A walkabout is an Australian rite of passage for Aboriginal men. It may originially have just been a trip across the Outback for boring reasons such as business meetings but it has come to be viewed as a spiritual trek. When you go out into one of the most unforgiving environments on the planet, it becomes spiritual.

The concept of the walkabout remains in Australian culture. Teenagers and young adults are encouraged to travel, to "walk about" the world before they come back to Oz. The term 'gap-year' is used quite frequently, and while not a strickly Australian concept, it is something that is looked upon favorably here.

There is something about this country that stays with you. Everyone I spoke to about Australia before moving here said they wanted to spend more time here or wanted to come back for another visit. Two of my friends who did a wilderness excursion into the outback with NOLS, talk about it fondly, like it happened only last year. It is a country that leaves it mark on your heart. Yes, that might seem a bit melodramatic, but if you've ever been here... you know.

I'm on my own walkabout. I have no idea where I will be in a year or what path to take. There are still so many options that I am stuck in a Paradox of Choice. I can't figure out what ice cream flavor I want much less figure out my future. And this too is part of the process. I've come to realize that intentionally creating my life applies in spite of the uncertainty, now more than ever.

The topic of failure has come up a lot in conversations, blogs I follow, and the constant whirl of thoughts in my head. As a generation we don't know how to fail. Everyone gets trophies in sports; teachers can't write in red pen.

But real self esteem comes from knowing when (not if) you fall on your face, you have the strength to get back up and try again. In those moments it's about whether I give up or get up. I'm learning when to quit things that aren't good for me and when to persevere. I'm learning how to balance the desire for financial security with the motivation to fully experience this country. Years from now, no matter where I end up, I'll be sharing stories from my walkabout.

Festivals

Australians love festivals. Each one is promoted heavily and attracts thousands of people. In the past 3.5 months I've been to the aroma (coffee) festival, the winter festival, the "Art and About" festival, the Brazilian festival, and the night noodle markets at the food festival. Next week I am going to the Fringe Festival.

The highlights of the festivals for me have nothing to do with the festival itself but the people I went with. I don't really like trying new food and I hate coffee and I refuse to spend $40 to skate around a really tiny portable ice rink. But I do like trying to get more free samples of chai latte, developing a whole documentary on homelessness in Australia, forming a circle under a tree because enough tables aren't available, or trying to imitate the samba.

Visas

I’m a little overwhelmed by the visa process. Hopefully by writing it out and sharing in my blog I can gain a little clarity.

(Found this sign near the Kings Cross fountain. Accurate picture of how I feel right now)

Recently, I’ve been going to a lot of networking events and immigration lawyers. While I have been working, I haven’t been hired at a job that can lead to sponsorship and the ability to stay in Australia after June 2012. Fellow Americans seem to fall into four categories: They are here on a Work and Holiday Visa and only plan on staying a year, they are a student, they or their spouse work for an American company that moved them here for 6-18 months, or they have been here more than four years before the immigration policies changed. It seems difficult to find a sponsored visa once here. It may have something to do with the first question on every application being “Are you an Australian citizen or permanent resident?”

Basically, I have four options:

1. Option A Work and Holiday Visa: I can approach this year as a sabbatical or gap year. Filler jobs are easy to get and pay surprisingly well since Australia has a living wage versus a minimum wage. I can take the whole year, travel around Australia (scuba!), NZ (absailing!), and the little known country of Vanuatu (volcano surfing!) then move back to a random city in the US and start again.
2. Option B Student Visa: Because the US has such strict immigration policies, I cannot stay longer by working at fruit picking, nor can I take a single course at a time to get a student visa. I would have to be a student full time for at least two years. I don’t have the money or desire to get another degree.
3. Option C Employer Sponsored Visa: I can work at filler jobs while applying to companies that may provide me with a temporary (4 year) employer sponsored visa. This would allow me to stay in Sydney, hopefully doing something I love. It isn’t easy to get. Employers and the specific job have to qualify based on a select list. Companies don’t like to have all their inner workings reviewed by the immigration office. Not saying it is impossible, just highly unlikely. If it doesn’t work out, option A moves into effect.
4. Option D State Sponsored Visa: Because I have my MSW, I can qualify for a state sponsored visa. This area of immigration has changed drastically in the past few years, even just within this past year. When I applied for my initial visa a year ago, an MSW gave me a lot of points on a skilled assessment test, helping move my application along. By the time I moved here, however, social work was removed from the Sydney SOL (Skilled Occupation List). Therefore without an Employer Sponsored Visa I cannot stay in Sydney. In order to get a State Sponsored Visa, I have to be sponsored by the Western Australian government, who just added social work to their SOL yesterday. It is an expensive process but would allow me to stay in Australia an additional three years.

I have to make a decision soon to start the appropriate visa application. Unfortunately I cannot pursue both option C and D at the same time. I have to choose a path. Do I keep trying for an Employer visa hoping to beat the odds? Or do I go for the more expensive State Visa which has a better chance of success but I would have to move to another city just as I’m finally hitting my stride in Sydney? Or do I just drop it all and take the easy way out, the gap year.

…

…

…

I still have no idea. Bummer.

Slang

I've met people from all over the world, drawn to each other by common outlooks on travel and adventure. Often conversation trends towards accents and slang words. Endless time can be spent repeating each other trying to echo the accents.

Most Aussie slang can be understood by taking off a syllable or two and adding an 'o' or a 'y' to the end of the word. Apparently, according to my friend A.H. this is the same style as the Cockney slang. Must be something related to the prison background. I have yet to figure out if this is something that shouldn't be brought up or it should with pride. I'm sure there is more but because so much of conversation is actually non-verbal sometimes I don't pick up when slang is being used because the context is clear.

Some slang I've easily adopted:

'Oz' Pertaining to the land of Australia

'Aussie' An Australian, also a way of doing things that is distinctly Australian.

'No Worries' It doesn't matter, also used as you're welcome

'Ta' Thank you. I love this one because it sounds so similar to 'Tea Da' how I used to say thank you as a child.

'Roo' Kangaroo

Kiwi Someone from New Zealand

Sunnies Sunglasses

Others I've heard:

'She'll be apples' It's okay. It will work out.

'Seppo' An american. Insulting. A nickname for Americans is Yankee which can be shorted to Yank. That rhymes with septic tank and shortened to Seppo.

'Arvo' Afternoon

'Relo' Relatives

'No dramas' The younger version of 'No worries'. Slang of the slang as it were.

'Ranga' A redhead. Short for orangutans.

'Squib' Coward. Something those of us in the SAAG Meetup (Sydney Action & Adventure Group) group refuse to be.

'Middy' A drink of middle size.

'Maccas' McDonalds

'Bottlo' Liquor store

'Chips' french fries in the States

'Westie' Someone from the western suburbs. Insulting use: uneducated, not classy.

'Fair Dinkum' genuine

'Footy' Either Rugby, Australian rules football, or soccer. I have no idea which.

'On ya mate' Not sure and didn't ask. Seemed sarcastic.

'Jumper' Sweater, sweatshirt, light jacket, or cardigan depending on what is needed.

'Servo' Gas station

'Loo' or 'Dunny' Toilet

'Knackered' Tired

To easy Said when taking someones phone number or answering any kind of question

Blow'n A blow in, a commuter or someone not from the area

Ones I'm waiting to hear:

'Beano' A celebration

'Chinwag' A conversation

'Jingoes' surprise

'Rack off' Go away

'Billabong' Watering hole

Frustrations

I've hit the six week or 7-mile slump. I realize the frustrations I'm facing now are a part of the journey. In a transition as drastic as the one I've made, disappointment and struggle should be expected. Many things have flowed so easily in this experience, from getting a visa to finding a place to live, that I forgot to be on guard for moments of "Oh crap, what exactly did I get myself into." It doesn't mean this was a mistake. I am still mid-jump like the picture my dad took, unsure of how the landing will be.

I called it the 7-mile slump because it feels like when I was running the marathon. At mile 7, the initial hype and excitement were gone as were the supporters. It was just me, the pavement, and a long field. I felt the same way when I first moved to NYC. Around week 6, the thrill is diminishing, but the social network hasn't been fully developed yet. I get out as often as I can for meet-ups, ballroom dancing, and just to take in the sites. But meaningful relationships, take time. And time is the one thing I don't know if I'll have.

Right now the job market is difficult for an immigrant. Many jobs are open only to permanent residents. Catch-22, I can't become a permanent resident until I've lived here for a few years. While my job provides enough to live here and even have a little fun, it isn't something that can lead to a longer position when my visa expires. The thought of having to potentially move somewhere else and rebuild a network... again... sucks, plain and simple.

Is it worth the risk of making real friends given the uncertainty about the future? When I.S. and I started dating, the plan was already in place to move to Australia. Was it worth dating knowing I would be leaving in a few months? The answer is absolutely. Without that risk, I would have missed out on an amazing relationship with an equally amazing guy and not had all the fun, support, and laughter the relationship brought. So even if I leave in a year, being willing to invest in friendships is always the better option.

So that is where I am. Aside from the ambiguity I'm having a blast. I have fun people, beautiful weather, and kangaroos, what's not to love. This whole experience is about creating the life I want. That takes a bit of work, a few tears, and a little flexibility. Here's to landing on the other side of the crevice I jumped. And if not, at least having some pretty flowers and a story to share wherever I do land.

Settled

Settled… or not. One of the biggest things I knew before starting this adventure was to have plans but allow them to be fluid and change as necessary. If I had had time to write last Friday I would have said that I was completely established in Sydney. Perhaps this was too big a feat to achieve in about two weeks. Within the past week a couple of things have shifted. But I’m not stressed about it. In fact, this whole process has still been surprisingly easy. In many ways I feel like I’ve been in Sydney for much longer than three weeks. I am working, meeting new people, living in a nice apartment, and can navigate the basic transportation system. I don’t know what the future holds, if I’m staying here or moving again in a year. But I can deal with that another time. For now, this is completely where I need to be and I am so happy that I took this chance. There have been a few moments of home sickness, especially when I was away from Sydney, disconnected from even the smallest contact with friends and family back in the States that I miss. There have been moments of utter contentment, especially when the weekends are nice. What I have not experienced in any way is regret.

Some of the things I’ve been doing:

Climbed the Pylon lookout of the Harbor Bridge. The real climb over the bridge is $200 so I’m going to skip that one. Once you’ve jumped from a plane, being tied to a bridge just doesn’t have the same thrill. There have been over 200 proposals at the top of the bridge. Apparently, it is only 60% effective as a proposal spot. The problem: if she says no you still have to walk down the other side tied to each other. The lookout, however, has some beautiful views.

Saw the Sydney Opera house and the Royal Botanical Gardens. Tried to see the view from Sydney Tower and was told by the desk lady that she just couldn’t let my group in because we were not dressed nice enough.

Saw the aquarium and wildlife park. Platypuses (Platypi?) are smaller than I expected, koalas are super cute, and I got as close as I need to a crocodile and a shark, until I go shark diving of course.

Went to the capital of Australia, Canberra. It is a terribly boring city that will be celebrating its 100^th anniversary in two years. On the way I saw a city advertising a population of 150 people, one fifth the size of my high school graduation class. The 10 year anniversary is coming up this year. When did I become an adult?

Saw my first real life kangaroos in the wild. Actually ran outside my hotel in the cold morning air and wanted to chase after them, and when that couldn’t happen, found myself imitating their hops. Maybe I’m not such an adult.

Went to see an aboriginal tree carving exhibit at the state (NSW) library.

Found an apartment, had an apartment party with my new friends plus a bunch of people I met when they showed up at my door with the previously mentioned new friends. Then moved into a nicer apartment.

Joined an ultimate freebie team.

Chased a person dressed up in a duck costume around the city with forks and plastic bags for no apparent reason but to have a blast with a bunch of other crazy people.

Arrival

Finishing up my first day in Australia. In about half an hour a group from my hostel will be making its nightly social organized outing. Tonight incidentally, is to a place called Soho.

Travel was uneventful, a ease unknown to me. Asiana Airlines is sufficient. Meals were pretty poor but service was good. It is pronounced Ásian-a vs a-si-á-na which I still think sounds cooler. I got a shuttle to my hostel right away.

I haven’t experienced a grand moment where I realize I’m an immigrant trying to move to another country with a very fluid if not sparse plan. But this is how I’ve always been. It never ‘hits’ me in a definable moment. I can be present in terms of location very easily. My mind adjusts quickly to wherever I am. There isn’t a huge anxiety ridden excitement but more of a calm acceptance and peace with a bit of excitement. I’m where I am supposed to be at this time in my life. This is home now. Or it will be very soon.

I spent the day lounging at my hostel, talking with fellow travelers, briefly checking of email, playing billiards, taking a quick nap that I wish could have been longer. My hostel is great. Jackaroo is ranked #3 on Hostel World and I can see why. The owners are very present making improvements and talking to guests. Each night there are planned social events and they provide free internet.

I also wandered around the town. I’m in Sydney but it is divided into distinct neighborhoods or suburbs. Right now I am in Kings Cross, truly a crossroads of the up and coming neighborhood and the desire to stay seedy. Walk a few blocks in one direction and hit a row of cheap cell phone stores and strip clubs. Walk the other way and find charming bistros and parks. I’m pleased to note that my sense of direction does seem to be better here even without a grid. It was 180 degrees wrong at all times in the US. My hope is that since bodies are 78% water (or something to that effect) and the water flows that other way here (a fact I have yet to verify) that my body was just attuned to the wrong hemisphere before.

A few other things I’ve noticed:

Nobody crosses the street before the walk sign is on. In NYC if you were not already half way across at that point you are late. I’ve already found myself alone in the middle of the road a few times. The road in which I might get run over because I have not gotten used to looking the right way.

Moving in winter was not a problem. It is sunny and spring like.

I will be eating a lot of noodles or the equivalent because food is expensive.

Rent is cheaper but you also have less bedroom space than NYC. It does seem there are more common areas in the same apartments.

It has a noticeably different vibe than NYC (sarcastic “surprise” to that observation). I also don’t think it is quite like Boston or DC either. Granted, these observations are made after a day lost in the travel time vortex and while staying in a predominantly backpacker area of town.

For the next few days my plan is to get an apartment, tax number, and wander around aimlessly taking in all the new sights.

Realizations

I’m in preparation mood for Australia. With only 10 days to go I’m busy packing, dinners, parties, looking for apartments, and selling off even more stuff. Even thought I haven’t taken off yet, the journey of an immigrant has been an interesting one. No matter what happens once I land, this process has been amazing and well worth it. I’ve realized a bunch of things:

I’ve realized how small the world has become: So many people I know have already been to Australia or know somebody who lives there giving me a host of people to contact once I land.

I’ve realized it is so important to have people to support you: I have people who love me and will let me cry, vent, or babble on in excitement no matter what the emotion of the minute may be. I know there are people in my life who support me.

I’ve realized moments of connection can happen when you are open to them: After deciding to move to Australia I meant a few people in unexpected places. A friend of a friend I met after a kickball game gave me the suggestion of the Visa that enabled me to leave. While visiting my boyfriend in DC I met a girl who just moved from Sydney to NYC.

I’ve realized how things can come back around: I got my Masters in Social Welfare almost four years ago. It was a difficult time in my life but I think its important to finish what you start. Turns out a MSW gets a 60 out of 60 points in the Aussie scale for education needed to get a Visa.

I’ve realized how attached I am to material possessions: I’m attempting to whittle my stuff down to two suitcases, plus the box at my parent’s house. I can and will live with less clutter.

I’ve realized our lives are constantly in transition: Whether that is moving, looking for or starting a new job, buying a house, getting in or out of a romantic relationship, having a baby, making new friends, everyone has change in life.

I've realized craigslist people can be crazy: The person buying my tv asking if I had closets, the old man who wants to tell me that everything I owe is crap do I want to sell it for $5, the lady whose cat, dog, bug, boyfriend, boss, and herself all had to go to the er instead of saying she no longer wanted the rug...

I’ve realized there can be joy even in uncertainty: I don’t know what is going to happen. But I do know that it will be amazing. If you face fears and challenges, what you get out of it is its own reward and sets the stage for great things to happen.

Australia

It is now official. I am moving to Australia June 21st, 2011.








First I’ll clear up the most common questions:

1) Are you going for work? No
2) Do you know anyone there? Not yet
3) Have you ever been? Nope
4) So why are you going? Why Not?


Awhile ago I came across a quote that has become my email sign off and the guiding principle in my life. “Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw. Having fully embraced my adventurous side, I want to live in the place where that mentality seems to thrive. Not necessarily following the prescribed life course but joining those people who make their own path. Mine is about creating the life I want, which is one of calculated risk, of movement, of joy, of connections, and of adventure. Why not try something new? In this case the new thing is literally moving across the world with two suitcases and a little tenacity.

I’ve never been to Australia but I’ve wanted to for a long time. I’ve kept journals since I could write. The past few months I’ve reread each one and scanned them onto my computer. When I was 16 I had a journal with questions for each day. One nondescript day it asked “If you could live anywhere where would you live?” My answer was “I want to live in an international city, like NYC. Or Australia” Years later I forgot I wrote that, but the desire never left. Australia was a brief thought for graduate school that never materialized. Now, it’s actually happening.

At this point in my life I have the ability to get up and go. I don’t have a mortgage, a husband or kids, or anything else tying me to a specific location. I got a working holiday visa which I have to use before I’m 30.

I am aware that this can be a bad idea. I could hate it, I could not get a full time position, things could go wrong… BUT… things could go so right. I could love it, I could get the job that I really want, it could be the best decision of my life. There is potential for something amazing to happen which I’d never see if I play it safe. No matter what the result, I will approach everything else in my life knowing that I didn’t back down from a risk when I wanted something.

It will be challenging. But very few things in life are worth it without struggle. I’ve loved the time that I’ve been in NYC. It is exactly where I should have been for the past three and a half years. I am so grateful for the experiences and friends I’ve made here. I’m leaving, not a different person, but more fully myself. Ready for the next chapter. And with an open couch for visitors as soon as I get a couch.

Stuff

A particular situation in my life has caused me to take inventory of everything I own. And I mean every little thing, from makeup to candles, pictures to books, prom dresses to ‘I’m not even sure what this is?’ items on a shelf. My conclusion: I have a lot of stuff.

To avoid the mental illness of a hoarder in the future, it’s time for a major spring cleaning undertaking. Looking at each item as objectively as possible and deciding if I would want to take it if I moved. As I've grown up from my childhood room at my parents house, to a dorm room, to an apartment of my own, my stuff has expanded to fill the space much like water in a jar. I don't use most of these things on a regular basis and often can't remember the motivation for purchasing it in the first place.

There are a lot of articles about the impact on clutter on your waking and sleeping life. I’m not going as hard core as this guy who only lives with just 15 possessions. There isn’t a magic number for me, rather a feeling that I’ve moved down to the essentials. Interestingly, most of the things that I want to keep are the things from my travels or gifts from people that I care about. It is fun (fun might be too strong a word- I really hate spring cleaning) to look at what matters.

What items can you not live without?

Perspective

I love the spring. After all the grey of winter it’s great to get outside. The brown is starting to give way to hints of green, the temperature is warming up, and people are happier. I’m trying to spend most weekends outside.

Perspective is a funny thing. When it’s 60 degrees outside, it feels so warm coming from the cold winter and bringing hope of spring and sun. But in a few months, the same 60 degrees will feel cold and slightly depressing, as it means winter is approaching. No matter how much I tolerate winter because of skiing and snowboarding, it isn’t my favorite season.

The last time I was in DC, I got to do a high ropes course with Living Social Adventures. The weather was alright, the people I was strapped to trees with were fun, and I had a blast pretending to be a staff member of LSA. While in the trees, I was aware of how the same situation can be seen in different ways by people. The couple in front of me were scared, double and triple checking their carabineers. The two guys behind me were not terrified at all. The height and obstacles were the same for both groups but the experience was different. I spent the time giving encouragement to the couple in front of me and trying to mess up the guys behind. We also tried to see who could lean of the tree the farthest or climb a shaking ladder. Compared to skydiving, the height was nothing, and the time in the trees was strangely peaceful. The course had a lot of obstacles, five ziplines and two Tarzan swings. They were my favorite where you launch yourself out of a tree into a large net.

Differing perspective can also be seen in the attitudes of people living in the American North and South. It is a common thought that people from NYC are rude. Living here I don’t see it. New Yorkers are very helpful as long as you don’t ask too many questions and don’t block the left side of the escalator. But then there are things that can be seen as impolite. We don’t stay and talk about anything in line. It’s get in, purchase, get out, and move onto the next thing. And if we were to say “excuse me” every time we bumped into someone on the streets we would never be able to get anywhere.

A few weekends ago, I visited North Carolina to see my sister and her boyfriend. I immediately saw the difference. Everyone is willing to talk about anything in line or at the gas station, even to complete strangers. I never got used to it, instead skeptical that they could indeed be that happy to show me to my seat at a restaurant. Perhaps it is fake, or perhaps it’s genuine, but when arriving back in New York I was aware of how miserable we all seem by comparison.

Tri-State

I competed in the Tri-State Ballroom Dance Challenge this past weekend. I did better than last year, had more fun, and was more relaxed. I also have a host of new things to work on in practice. I danced seven times: Cha-cha, Rumba, Swing (East Coast) and Samba were at the Bronz II level. Waltz, Foxtrot, and Tango were at a Silver II level. I took first place, second place, and third place depending on the dance! My mom took the video, my dad took the still pictures.

Cha-Cha

Rumba:

Swing:

Samba:

Waltz:

Tango:

Foxtrot:

Leadership

True leadership isn’t about power and force. It is about communication, awareness of the strength of each individual, the ability to recognize and use the skills of the other, and the choice to work together. This remains true in life, relationships, and dance.

I’ve been preparing for my next ballroom competition this Friday. Since last year, I’ve learned a lot technically and about the interpersonal forces of a ballroom partnership. I’ve been trying to gain an understanding on what separates a decent team from an extraordinary one. One aspect is the “lead/follow” relationship.

In ballroom, if a guy is leading correctly and the woman is fully embracing her role, the lead disappears. You don’t even notice him. Likewise, a great leader can be recognized by what they leave behind, how they have trained others and encouraged others to be their best, to the point that they almost disappear. How would a company look if the leaders were that selfless?

As I’ve gotten more involved in the process I realize how far removed the woman’s role in dance is from the typical “follow around like a little puppy” view. The perceptions I hear from women who dance are either: they think they can’t follow because they can't give up control, or the alternative: they completely surrender to the guy’s lead, he gets to decide everything and they just get to look pretty. Both are far from the reality of an exceptional dance partnership. The woman determines, chooses, and controls a number of aspects in a dance. This is intentional. As women in dance, we are active contributors.

There is so much to concentrate on in dancing, the pair splits up the duties. If I, as a woman, was so busy wondering what move to do next, I wouldn’t be able to hear the intricacies of the music. We would move around the dance floor and it would look fine, but it lacks that extra piece to make it exceptional. Likewise, if the guy had to worry about swelling with the mood of the music, he wouldn’t be able to steer us away from hitting another couple as we turned. We split up the aspects of dance and respect each other's authority in the matter.

The women controls the musicality, not just for herself, but for the couple. It is true that allowing the guy to lead allows for the women to be more passionate and beautiful individually. But it also allows the guy to be the same. Depending on the music, when my partner leads a particular move I can hold it a fraction of a second longer than he expected, filling up the space and time. Taking a deep breath and holding it for just a little before releasing. A good lead will sense this and pause with me. In that way I help him dance the music rather than just going through motions. If he had to focus on both, we wouldn’t be able to move. He gives up the right to determine the breath and flow of the dance to the woman.

It isn’t about the guy doing all the work and I just get to float around looking pretty. I am a dynamic part in the partnership. For example, when turning in closed hold, the woman is in change of stopping the movement at the right time. This takes so much strength both in mind awareness of where the couple is as a unit, as well as, strength in body. Hello core workout.

The woman is also in charge of the connection. The man’s frame has to stay constant. If he is worried about making sure we are connected I wouldn’t be able to tell if his arm twitching is a lead or reestablishing the connection. Therefore, it is the women who determines how much connection to have, how much tension to create and ultimately how much power the couple will have on the floor. In any couple, dance or relationship, some tension is good. It is the women who chooses and controls how much tension to create. Too submissive and the couple has no power, too aggressive and the body contact is lost. The correct amount of tension creates a power that allows really good couples to float across the dance floor.

The graceful power doesn’t happen if the woman is weak, if she is hesitating, if she is just letting the man go wherever he wants. It’s like a rubber band. It can be floopy, break if pulled to tight, or it can stretch and pull and snap back into place. In a dance couple I pull away from my partner while remaining completely attached. In fact, I now dance in true closed hold which means my dance partner and I are touching from the bottom of my rib cage to my belly button at all times (in smooth dances). But I am pressing into him and away from him at the same time creating tension. It is that contradiction of being attached but pressure that allows for power, that allows us to know where each others bodies are, and for him to direct us on the floor.

Force the guy to lead, question him, don’t just follow blindly. This is where women get upset in dancing. They give all the power to the guy. Why? Because he determines where you stand on the floor? That is just a part, albeit an important part when dancing in competitions with 10 other couples on the floor. When he starts to lead a turn the woman doesn’t crumble into it. Instead she takes an extra fraction of a second still going the way she was headed until that ideal tension spot. This does two things: It forces the guy to be a stronger lead, to be sure of where he is going. It also creates the pull required to gain sharpness and control for a turn. Emotionally, both are reminded that she is strong, that she actively has to agree if the partnership is going to work.

I'll post videos once the competition is done!

Planning

I'm more of a big picture type of gal. I get ideas and want to jump right away. To be detail oriented is doable, but it takes a lot of mental power (and usually a lot of lists preferably on giant purple post-its). This means that I am sometimes, okay always, disorganized. For example, this weekend I left an extra shirt out in the snow. I'm a sanguine personality type, so spontaneity and "ready, fire, aim" are fine strategies for me because most things just seem to end up working out. And if something doesn't go as planned at least it makes a great story.

Recently a lot of situations are in the planning stages, things that I can't just leap into immediately with an optimistic hope for the best. Instead I have to plan, debate, practice, or otherwise strategize in order to make it work.

1) My dance competition is coming up in about three weeks. I'm doing seven routines at a Bronze II or Silver I level. There are two parts to a dance routine: feeling the music and technical expertise. I can do either individually but put them together and a clash occurs. So right now is the practice stage.

2) I've been hanging out in this country for too long. Granted, I've been taking mini weekend vacations so I haven’t just been sitting at home. Still, it's time to get on a plane and travel. The next place I want to go, Australia, doesn't lend itself to an extended weekend on the spur of the moment. Unlike my past two international vacations where I decided about a week before boarding the plane, Australia, and then Antarctica, takes a bit more time to figure out the details. Right now I am planning and trying to save money. I also might get my scuba certification before I leave. Scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef would be amazing.

3) Recently I completed a Wellness Cleanse which significantly altered what I eat. Before doing this cleanse I never read ingredients or thought about what I ingest. Having to plan meals out ahead of time was a challenge, especially as my cooking skills involve omelets, grilled cheese, and pasta from a box none of which was allowed during the 21 days. Even though officially done with the cleanse, I have kept up with some of the recommendations. Although I did a spectacular job this past weekend falling off the wagon complete with celebratory cupcake, a walking/eating tour of DC, tequila tasting, and a dinner of candy.

4) A few weeks ago I won the International Speech contest at my Toastmasters Club and last night won the next level (the Area 42 contest)! Now I am gearing up for the Division D competition in April, meaning once again I have to plan out and develop my speech. At each level of the competition, I will give the same speech but the intention is to take feedback and make improvements each time.



Last night I was keenly aware of how similar my hand motions, voice inflection, and mannerisms are to my mom. Almost creepy in the similarity. But she is a published writer and an entertaining, compassionate storyteller. Emulating her is a compliment. I’ll post a video of my speech after I get as far as I can in the competition. Working towards Vegas!

Also congrats to Rafay for winning the Area 42 Evaluation Contest.

Intention

I’ve been thinking about living with intention this month. The things I do, how I spend my time and money, what I eat. There is a lot of my life that I coast through. The brain likes to put things in boxes and there are benefits to that process. That’s why for a toddler every four-legged furry animal is the family dog. If we had to consciously take every breath or every step we wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything else. At the same time being mindful of our connection to our breath, ourselves, and others has a very calming effect and can provide the environment for inspirational breakthroughs.

I make new years resolutions every year. And every year they are more or less the same ones. Keep my room clean, improve my handwriting, eat right, exercise more, save more… the normal ones. But all of those come from a place of not being enough. That there is an ideal ‘self’ I am forever falling short. I write my resolutions and don’t look at them again until a year or two later to see how many I kept. I can’t think of a single one.

On the flip side are the goals that I make throughout my life, not from a place of shortcomings to be overcome but from a place of completeness with a motivation of being more. For example being 27 would be the best year of my life and I’ve worked at making it so. Then there is the goal to touch every continent by the time I am 30. Baring any unforeseen crisis, or even in spite of them, I have a loose plan to accomplish this. Getting involved in a voluntourism agency in some fashion (still working out the details of that one).

Why make goals at all? I like the idea of self-improvement and the idea of stagnation feels grimy. And goals are easier to keep if they are written out, spoken, or otherwise given authority. Just because the road is difficult doesn’t mean you should give up. I’ve started to be intentional even about what goals I set. Goals that you actually want to meet take energy and risk to accomplish. Even those goals made that you don’t want to accomplish still take emotional energy and focus away from other things. If the motivation comes from anywhere but me, I don’t bother making it.