Ballroom

“While I dance I cannot judge, I cannot hate, I cannot separate myself from life. I can only be joyful and whole. That is why I dance.” ~Hans Bos

There haven’t been many updates to my blog recently; all my limited free time has been spent getting ready for my first ballroom dance competition! Plus, I haven’t figured out how to describe something that is a passion and a therapy at the same time with words that will make everyone who reads this understand just what an amazing thing ballroom dancing can be. I have danced my whole life but nothing compared to the training necessary to compete. And I’m only at Bronze I.

Dancing is one of the only things that got me through graduate school. I realized I can handle the stress of the working world much better when I have ballroom as an outlet. The world just seems more calm and manageable when I’m floating around the dance floor. During the hour practice session (oh, if only I could afford to practice a few hours a week instead of just one) nothing else matters.

I’ve taken private lessons since December. Originally I took a few classes but didn’t think I could afford to go continuously so I had to stop. A few weeks later the instructor called me up to say that he wanted me to take lessons in whatever capacity I could. Since then I’ve figured out how to make it work. I’ve realized it is an outlet I need to have in my life as a stress reducer.

Like any specific skill set, the technicality of ballroom dancing is something that most social dancers and observers can’t comprehend. For a given move there are about 15 different things to worry about before even taking a step. Not to mention that many times parts of my body connected by skin, bones, muscles, and tendons, have to move in opposite directions. Try as I might, my belly button cannot move at a 90 degree angle to my rib cage. Everything matters in competitive ballroom, which toe has weight first, the tilt of my head, the angle between my pointed fingers... and then make the move elegant and effortless.

I like the connection between relationships/communication and dancing. My dance partner, who is a professional dancer competing for over 10 years, can tell what foot I have weight on when I am standing behind him with only one hand on his shoulder. Traditionally, the man is the lead and the female is the follower. This has been changing with the growing acceptance of same-sex ballroom dancing and the fact that often the woman will take a “back-lead” if she is the better of the pair. But there is an interesting thing about the leading. One cannot lead by pulling and pushing at whim. If the women is on the wrong foot for a move the guy can't lead it without risking injury or awkwardness. The choices are to change the desired next move to relate to where the woman is standing or move her to gently to shift her weight. In the same manner, leading is not about pushing and pulling people but working with where they are or gently shifting the direction.

Similar to public speaking, the way you hold your body and use your hands drastically changes the message you are trying to portray. Giggling in the Tango, as I tend to do, doesn’t quite have the same feeling the sultry, passionate dance is supposed to express. Other skills like eye contact and variation of tone and intensity are all important flourishes that set a great dancer and a great speaker apart.

I leave for my first competition tomorrow. I’m nervous and excited. I’ve had to deal with frustrating practices and the fact there will be people who are much better than me on the dance floor. But when it comes down to it, I love getting dressed up, I love social events, I love being the center of attention when I dance, and I love dancing.

Videos of the competition will be forthcoming.