Flashback

Most life/career coaching books ask the question:  If you had unlimited amounts of money what would you do?  Another book, which I forgot the title of so I cannot give credit, asked:  What did you love to do as a child?  I thought about it and realized, just as the things I struggled with seem to come up in life lessons time and again, so to the things I love to do, the things that energize me, haven't really changed from when I was younger.

Organizing Events: When I turned 10, I got to host my first group sleepover for my party. I had an itinerary with food, crafts, and games, to maximize fun for everyone who attended (which nobody followed but that is a different lesson).  My sister and I organized a "Nature Club" for our friends with projects to complete and an awards ceremony.

Dancing: I was always dancing whether it was in classes or just around the house.  Almost all little babies move around to music, I just never grew out of it.

Writing: I wrote one of my first stories about a jelly bean who was unlike the other jelly beans in the Easter basket in kindergarten.  I have kept a journal since I learned how to write, rereading them as I scanned them before moving to Australia.  Some of my favorite words of wisdom: "If I could anyone I would be just me" (1st grade) "I love horses if I had anuf money I would by a horse. I have 15.00 now I ned 200.00 to get a good horse." (3rd grade) "I know giving is better but receiving is more fun" (4th grade)

Now how to I go about crafting these things into a job?  Ignoring the visa limitations for the moment.

ASDAC

Videos from the Crown Competition at The ASDAC in Canberra. 

Smooth Crown:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYvm5EeDG9E  (black and white dress starting in the top right corner)

Rhythm Crown:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K002z-AQrIU (red and black dress starting in front right corner)

As already mentioned many times on this blog, I love ballroom dancing.  After I got my full time job, I started looking for a dance studio and found Firefly. A few months after I started there, they mentioned there was an American/Social style competition coming up.  My hand was in the air before they even said when or where it was. At that time, I couldn't sign up because I didn't know if I would even be in the country as it was after my initial visa would expire.  As soon as I got my visa I talked to my instructor and signed up.

I have never trained so hard for a dance competition. I was at the studio 5-9 hours a week in group classes and lessons .  Like my other dance competitions, I signed up to compete at a higher level than where I was comfortable, saying I would rather lose at a higher than win at something I knew I could do.  As it got closer to the competition, my inner competitive nature came out and I realized that is a lie...  I want to win at the challenging level not just compete.  

The trip was a full weekend and I went with 4 other students, our 2 dance instructors, and another instructor from our studio who would be judging. It was nice to have a team.  When I went to the competitions in the States, my family and freinds where able to see me and it would have been sad to go alone.  

Our poor dance instructors not only have to teach us, cover for our mistakes during the comp, but also become therapists, helping each person cope with the stress and excitement of competition in our own unique ways.  I need to know I have a chance before, have fun during, and debrief immediately afterwards.  I initially can only see the mistakes I made and either tear up or full out cry as the adrenaline wears off.  On the first day of competition, I ended up in tears after the tango which upon later review that night was my strongest dance. All a part of the process. Ash, Emily, and Lauren were all wonderful training and supporting us throughout the competition.  Plus just pure fun to dance with. 

Friday night was a party where the different dance studios came to size up the competition. I mean, dance with other social style dancers from all over Australia. It was a lot of fun to dance with other students with slight differences in moves.  

Saturday were the single dance rounds.  I danced at Level 3 which involved Bronze 3 and 4 and Silver steps.  I went into it slightly flustered as my hair was not behaving and I found out as soon as I walked in that I would be dancing my most challenging dance in the first heat with less then a half hour to collect myself.  I made quite a few mistakes and still had a wonderful time and performed well.  When all the dance couples ended up in the same corner I reminded myself to keep smiling and trust that my instructor could get us out of the mess.  I danced in six: Foxtrot (which is in my opinion my weakest dance but I won first place), Waltz (2nd), Tango (where I cried afterwards but won 1st),  Cha Cha (2nd), Rumba (2nd), and East Coast Swing (2nd).  The whole team did amazingly well placing in almost every level we competed in. 

Saturday night was a ball, a chance to get/stay dressed up and socially dance.  Again dancing with people with styles and leads different than how we were taught.  I danced with one of the judges and was scared the whole time because I didn't want him to remember all the mistakes and lack of technique the next day.  Far from it, he was complimentary, a lot of fun, and an exceptional lead.  A few other couples from Firefly came down for the ball and to support us. 

Sunday were the Crown competitions where I danced at level 4.  Three dances one right after another in the rhythm and smooth categories.  Scoring is based on the overall total. I went in with the hope of just holding my own and doing my best and walked away with a first place in the smooth crown (waltz, foxtrot, tango) and second place in the rhythm crown (cha cha rumba, swing). At the comp they did not announce that I placed second. I was initially disappointed but upon reflection, knew that I had had so much fun and did my best that I wouldn't have changed anything in order to win.  Then it turned out I got second so even better.  Easily my best performances and results from the three comps I've been in, and also the hardest I've worked it. 

There were only a few differences I found competing in Australia.  1) People were nicer.  When near collisions happened, the instructors would look at each other and mouth "sorry".  There were far fewer (ie none) full body "mean girl" scans from the ladies. 2) Competitors dressed appropriately for body type and age.  Well all except for one lady at the ball.  3) More closed work for all the smooth dances even at level 6.  

Puppy

Meet Raz, my new puppy!

Okay, so he really isn't mine but my flatemates' new puppy.  And okay, he isn't technically a puppy anymore.  Let's face it though, calling him a puppy makes him sound cuter, and the poor guy needs it.  His head is a bit horse like, his eyes a bit small and placed far back like a deer, his ribcage too big for his short little legs, and his nose is practically missing.  But when he comes to greet me at the door tail wagging after a long day at work he is adorable. 

He is actually the perfect way for me to have a dog.  While I have wanted another dog for years, I understood that it wouldn't be fair to the animal.  I am not home often enough to provide the kind of attention that a dog would need. Plus, to be frank, I am a bit of a commitment phobe.  Having decisions like where I can live and my schedule determined by another being is the worst possible scenario. Clearly, as a dog owner, I would be horrible. 

That is why this is an ideal situation.  I get to have someone greet me with joy and attention when I get home.  I get to play catch when I want to, wander around the dog parks when I want, or cuddle on the couch watching a movie when I want.  All while not having to worry about waking up to walk him, or where he will stay when I go to Cairns in a few weeks, or the pile of bills.  I get to practice being the fun aunt who comes in to play but doesn't have to worry about disciple or financial responsibility.

457

Australia by the numbers:

1 New tattoo

2 Other Aussie cities I have visited

3 Apartments I have lived in

4 People on my team at work

5 Jobs I have held in the past year ranging from accountant to waitress to customer service manager

6 Meetup events I have hosted

7 Days it took to approve my visa once it was submitted

8 Weeks it took my boss to submit my visa

9 Other people living in a two bedroom flat in my second apartment
10 Days spent in Hawaii over Christmas to see my family

11 Months I have been here

24 Days left until my working holiday visa expired

26 Hours of travel time to get here

10,056 Tears I have cried due to stress and fear

All of that equals a 457 Employee Sponsored Visa!

Two weeks ago I got the final approval to stay in Australia.  I know it’s a little delayed for a blog entry.  To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it; I still don’t.  This process has been unlike anything I have faced.  For the past year, I have had one all consuming goal: to make a life in Australia.  I worked crap jobs, cried more than I would care to admit, and kept moving forward even when the road was unclear.  A friend asked me if I would do it again, knowing what I know now… Absolutely.  Not just because Australia is an amazing country and I have made some wonderful friends, but also because I have developed more confidence to face future challenges while still smiling.   

Inspiration

My friend recently posted a note on facebook listing people in her life that she found inspirational. I thought it was such a great idea I have blatantly stolen it for a post.  The order does not relate to when I met you, nor is it anything of importance.  Feel free to skip down to your name or read through them all and wish these people were in your life too because they are awesome.  This list is far from exhaustive so please don’t be mad if you aren’t listed here.

Mom-  Okay, so I know I said the order doesn’t matter but in this particular case it does. You were the first person I ever knew and one who has supported me through everything possible in life.  I know you don’t agree with all the decisions I’ve made but you love me regardless.  And you motivate me to try new things all the time. 

Dad-  As I grew up I realized just how special it is that I had a dad so willing to spend time with us.  You encourage me to follow my passion wherever that leads. I will forever cherish Tin tin, wrestling, adventures while hiking, the “stuff”, … as long as I’m living your baby I’ll be. 

Aimee-  You are the best little sister a girl could ask for.  You are the most loyal compassionate person I know and I have learned so much from you.  Countless times you have known exactly what to say to inspire me to keep going though your hidden notes.   

Robert- Sometimes I forget you’ve had more than your fair set of challenges because you handle them with a maturity beyond your years.  I am very blessed to have a cool little brother who is also a friend.

Laura-  No matter what life throws at you, you always get back up and head into the next step in the journey.  You are positive and hopefully optimistic.

Donna-  My first real friend and the perfect example that no matter how much each of us changed over the years, true friendship surpasses that.  Plus you taught me to play Nintendo.

Ideen-  You aren’t afraid to take a good hard look inward striving to improve while at the same time balancing that with a brave acceptance of yourself and others. You are the most genuine person I have known. Also, you are one hell of a dancer.

Emily-  You listen to people. Really listen in a way that makes them feel like there is nothing else you want to do at that moment then give your undivided attention. 

Nathan-  You treat everyone with the utmost respect.  You care about the person more than any sort of label society may place on them.   

Chloe-  Our first meeting was only a little time ago but your vulnerability through the written word has encouraged me to pour out uncensored feelings.

Tim-  You were a safety net in high school, accepting and never judging. You’ve shown me that it is okay, nay necessary, to act like a kid sometimes.

Sue-  Every challenge that comes your way you attack with boundless determination. Whether work, teaching, dance, motherhood, or singing.  

Tara-  You have taught me what it means to be a good manager, offering praise, support and a place to vent when necessary.

Michelle-  You embrace the unexpected with a contagious enjoyment and take on learning new and creative things with delight.

Jen M.- My other 1/3.  You possess a confidence that comes from being sure of what you want from life.

Maura- It is so obvious that you care so deeply for your friends.  You remember events, ask questions and wait for the answer, and reach out just to check in. You are generous and compassionate.

Jane- My first girlfriend in the City. You helped me survive the mad world of nyc providing distractions, conversations, perseverance, and just a place to chill.   

Annie-  You live your life with wild quirky abandon.  You have the ability to talk to anyone and make them feel comfortable.

Jen S.-  You feel deeply and passionately and share that with those around you. I’m so happy for you that you found a job that allows that amazing side of you to be expressed.

Anna-  I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else by my side navigating the craziness of adolescence and adulthood.  Are we really adults?

Seth-  Possibly the best hug giver I’ve ever known.  You always give an authentic smile, spending the time getting to really know people.

Katie- Your posts always uplift and your outlook on life never ceases to bring a smile to my face and encourage. You’ve demonstrated that sometimes you don’t even need to have met the person to make a difference in their life. 

Julia-  Not only did passing notes in classes help pass the time, our conversations were so easy no matter how complicated or difficult the subject. I learned so much about my opinions from our open and entertaining discussions.

Serge-  I would not have been able to finish the marathon without all the tips you provided after Toastmasters meetings even though I ignored quite a few.  Keep running!

Ryland- Infectious enthusiasm for life- ‘nuf said. In Aussie/Kiwi you would be “Sweet as, bro”

Lara- In a time when many speak of making the world a better place, you put the words into action in a way that encourages others to do the same. Thanks for introducing me to the world of free hugs.

Croix- You are quick to provide an wholehearted word of encouragement for anyone’s endeavors.  Because you have accomplished so much you provide the often needed confidence to know that it is possible.

Kate- You’ve shown me that it is okay to not know the whole story or how it ends but to enjoy the eccentric moments.

Shad-  You demonstrated that faith is not something to just accept but involves asking questions and never giving up on learning.  

Alex-  You are one super cool chick.  You rock confidence, funky, and bubbly all wrapped into one.  I stole your idea, remember – imitation is a form of flattery.  Good luck in the marathon.

"So much of me is made from what I learned from you.

You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.

Now whatever way our stories end, 

I know you have re-written mine

By being my friend..." ~Wicked

Hugs

Sometimes all you need is a hug.  Over the weekend I participated in a "Free Hugs" event run by my friend, LA.  I first heard of the event through a YouTube video years ago but had no idea that it was started by an Australian or that I would be doing it at the same location in Pitt Street Mall.

We made signs and stood out for hours giving free hugs to anyone who wanted them.

Some observations:

• We as a society are no longer comfortable with physical contact.  That goes for my friends and I doing the hugging as well.  It took awhile to get comfortable with it, we started by hugging each other a lot. After a full day of hugs, however, I felt like hugging random people on the street and the metro on the way back to my flat even without my sign.
• There were a lot of parents who said that their children never hugged them anymore once they became preteens, teens, and adults themselves. 
• People who didn't want to hug a stranger would sometimes hug the person next to them as a way of getting away from us.  Which is perfectly fine, it didn't matter who was hugging whom, just that the contact was made with someone. 
• People where constantly asking me what we were selling or who we were trying to promote.  The idea that I was not there during a guerilla marketing stunt or wouldn't ask them to make a purchase or donate money was impossible for some to understand. I loved being able to say "No catch, just hoping to brighten up someone's day." and mean it.  
• Even those people who didn't come over would smile.  We could brighten up someone's day.
• There were a lot of people who wanted to take pictures with us. 
• I was shocked at the number of parents who would send their children over.  Not only where they encouraging the children to talk to a stranger but to go up to one holding a sign.
• There was only one creepy guy which out of the number of hugs given that isn't a bad ratio at all.  
• The cutest little girl wanted me to hug her doll, her scooby doo, and a little transformer plastic thing. 
• People would walk into the middle of the square where we were to try and avoid a hugger only to realize that there were more of us and they were now surrounded. 
• People went to the hugger that they felt the most comfortable.
• One old gentleman came over to talk to me multiple times throughout the day because he was lonely and needed someone to talk to.
• A few people grabbed extra signs and joined us for a while.  
• Some people would share how they really needed a hug that day because they were having a bad day. It was great to be able to make a small difference in someones life. 

If you are in Sydney be sure to check it out or start one in your own town! Not only is it a fun experience  it can make a huge difference in someone's life and all it costs is a little time and the cost of a handmade sign. 

*I just realized on January 15th that I had never posted this, instead writing it only as a draft.  So I have now rectified that, still posting it with the original date.

Older

Some thoughts on aging as I recently had a birthday. It was my first birthday in another country and at my party I took a moment to just step back and realize what a great group of friends I have here. Plus because of the time difference, I celebrated in Australia, went to sleep, then woke up to more birthday wishes from friends as the date switched over in the states.

I am creating a picture in my mind of the kind of older person I want to be. My mom tells a story of her grandmother who knew everyone in town and was such a joy to be around that when she put a jar in the local watering hole saying "Send Maude to Hawaii" They actually did.

I want to be the adorable short grandmotherly type as my spine shrinks but big in personality. I want the people who I interact with to shake their heads and laugh "Oh that's just Jen." Where I can get away with anything like wearing fuzzy dog slippers to the store.

I want to be involved in the lives of my brother and sister, not only reminiscing but creating new memories.

I want to always be able to entertain with stories of adventure and at the same time have the ability to step back and simply listen to another person with my whole attention.

I want to be on the dance floor at a wedding rocking it out to JT's "Sexy Back", walker and all.

I want to ski, skydive, and rock climb no matter how much my back may hurt. Knowing that it would hurt more if I stopped moving.

I want to travel to a new country every year or two, taking crazy pictures with the strangers I met on the trip who become my new friends for the duration.

I want to brighten up the days of everyone I met from my friends to the lady at the eye care clinic.

The most important thing I understand about this cute 88 year old I want to be is that I won't wake up at that age and suddenly start all of those things. Instead, it is patterns an behaviors that are put in place now. Practicing patience when the line at the grocery is moving slowly, the ability to enjoy the simple things in life, and the perseverance and strength to get back up when plans fall apart. Most importantly to enjoy the process of getting there. gr